I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
