Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
