I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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