literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My bed smells like the plague
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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