woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
