i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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