Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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