You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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