just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
