if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
