you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
