"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
