Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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