If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
