just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize