how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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