shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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