I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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