Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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