I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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