I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
