are you still at the devil's house?
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
