I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
