I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
