my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I forget how to act sober
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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