He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
my liver is dry heaving
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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