Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
