oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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