your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
