Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
