Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize