I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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