I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
