whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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