I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
