she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
