u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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