If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
