Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
