similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
