I feel like abortions should bother me more
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
