He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
