You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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