plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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