It's like God shit irony all over that family
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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