So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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