I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
