did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
