it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
