What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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