if i can run in heels then i can drive
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
