Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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