so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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