I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
