just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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