wrigley field is MILF paradise
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
