Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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