zippers are such a cool invention
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
