i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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