dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
