Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
