Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize