My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
