i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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