Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
