Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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